Happy Pyromania Day

Happy 4th, everyone! 

I'm just stopping by to do a little photo dump of our Def Leppard & KISS concert last Friday the 27th in Ridgefield, WA. It's near Portland so we left when we thought it was early enough at around 2:30pm. What was supposed to be a 2 hour and 45 minute drive took FIVE hours with traffic. It was horrendous. Seriously horrendous. We barely made it there when Def Leppard started playing their set. 

I was really impressed with Def Leppard's show. I know a lot of their songs and I'm not a huge fan or anything but it was really entertaining and they sounded great. 

Then KISS played their set and this was the second time I've seen them. They always put on an explosive show. 

We got home close to 4 am! It was a long, tiring night but we had a lot of fun (with the exception of some annoying people near us- a linebacker of a woman shoving me out of my seating area and some kids standing on seats in front of us- how rude). 

Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!

Busy Bidness

I've been busy, tired, and lazy. 

I've also been trying to have as much time with Russ before he leaves for deployment which is swiftly approaching. :(

Buuuuut, I do miss blogging. 

Here's what's been going on:

This past week and a half we've looked at three trucks.

There's Portland: which had a lot of potential but the outside was rough. Still considering. 

Seattle 1: a 1981 empty truck in really great shape that could be a great blank canvas for what we could get it for. Problem?... it's so short inside that it nearly touches my head (I'm 5'8"ish). 

Seattle 2: This is the front runner and it's nearly done as it just needs another electrical line run for the generator. My problem with the truck is that it's (what feels like a whooping) 25 feet in length. The price is wonderful but I'm afraid it might be too much truck for us. But then again, we might be so busy that we will need this space. 

We're still weighing our options and talking to each of the sellers...

I also want to share this deliciously wonderful birthday cake I made for my Mom!

It's a Black and White cake which is alternating layers of white cake and chocolate cake filled with alternating layers of white whipped and chocolate whipped filling. I tweaked it a bit and made the outside icing a mocha whipped icing which tasted delicious! I then covered the outside sides of the cake with white and chocolate curls.

Oh. Em. Gee. The layers! Look at those beautiful layers! 

Needless to say the cake, with it's lovely light, tasty filling and spongy-moist cake, wasn't around too long. 

Absence

I think it's important to tell everyone reading this that I haven't abandoned the blog. Here it is, the 27th of an entire month that I have been silent. I haven't been taking a break from the blog, reclining back and putting my feet up. I've been extremely busy and right now is pretty much the first time I've had this month to take a breath. 

Source- Washington Sunset

On November 4, I found out one of my friends had suddenly and tragically died. By the 7th, I was on a plane to Arizona to be there for my best friend and to attend my friend's memorial that Saturday the 9th. 

That Saturday, right before his memorial I found out that my grandfather had passed away. I was crushed by grief. 

Saturday was a hard day to get through and on top of it all, my brother called me to tell me that the outlet in his room had caught on fire and he had to race to turn off the electricity before the house went up. If he hadn't been home, our house would have most certainly burned down. 

After spending a day organizing my next trip to Kentucky on the phone and countless hours attempting to get Russ off his ship for the funeral (to no avail), I was on my original flight back to Seattle on the 12th only to come back to the airport four hours later for my next trip. 

On November 14th, we laid "Crazy" Pawpaw to rest.  

Unfortunately my childhood is only punctuated with memories of Pawpaw because we lived a state away from them for the first half of my life. Despite the few times we were able to visit, I'll never stop feeling his warm presence in my life. Any sweet memory of him (and there are many) makes me smile and seeing his picture makes me laugh (because he was always doing something crazy). Mom has told my brother and me stories of him throughout our childhood so often that it almost feels like we had lived it alongside his five children. He was a beautifully silly man with a child's heart and a sense of humor that is unmatched and he will be forever missed by everyone who had the good fortune to know him.

Russ got to fly home early last Thursday because his leave was denied the first time. That same night half of our house went dark after I dared to run the vacuum. Three electrician visits later and we still have half power. The dark half of the house has all of our televisions and internet so... it's been quiet and boring around here. So yeah, we're going to try to move in the coming two months or so because this house, despite being cute and homey, feels a bit dangerous as far as the wiring goes. Not cool. 

What a month. I'm glad we've only got three days left of it.

Aim For The Head!

This past Sunday night we ventured out to Snohomish to finally visit Thomas Family Farm and visit all their Halloween attractions. 

The main event: 

Source

I remember seeing in Spring a huge sign from the main road for this very attraction and I knew I HAD to do it! After looking it up online, I discovered that you are actually shooting people with paintball guns who are dressed as heavily armored zombies. 

We got there at about 8:30 and bought our tickets for zombie paintball, the haunted slaughterhouse, and the flashlight corn maze. 

Luckily Sunday night wasn't too busy and we barely had to wait for zombie paintball. Shown below are the trailers which the paintball guns were attached to. The tractor hauled the trailers full of people around the farm to shoot the zombies. It's a nighttime attraction so the paintballs are glow-in-the-dark, how fun is that? 

I wish I had gotten some pictures of the actual ride but we all were having too much fun. Mom had so much fun that she just had to do it again! The course involved "zombies" hiding behind sheds, in vehicles, and crawling around the ground. It was decorated with glowing paint and colored lights. Very cool.

The next thing we visited was the haunted slaughterhouse. It was built into one of the barns as a maze of creepy rooms with hanging butchered meat, costumed characters, and flashing lights. The highlights of the house was: a clown jumped down from the ceiling onto my head, there was a portion where you had to walk through a vinyl partition that was filled with air that conformed to your body so closely that it felt like you would suffocate for the duration of the tunnel. I have some mild claustrophobia so I didn't enjoy that part and I just grabbed onto my brother's jacket to lead me out of the barely-able-to-breathe space. 

Another creepy part was when we opened a door and after it closed behind you you notice that you're in a small room with nothing but doors. You are stuck in there with a costumed weirdo while strobe lights are flashing and you have to frantically find the correct door. That scene could have easily originated in someone's nightmare. 

The worst part for Mom probably was the end where she was basically attacked by clowns with glowing face paint and real chainsaws (minus the chain, of course). They seemed to sense that she was clown-phobic and mostly followed her around. That was the last part of the haunted house and one clown actually followed her outside to poke at her legs with the chainsaw. 

Then, it was on to the Corn Maze which was 3.5 miles long and 1.5 miles wide. We got lost a few times, of course. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time to complete the second half before it closed and an employee came to find us. We left the corn maze and we were the last car in the parking lot! 

I think Brayt and I will venture at an earlier time in the coming week to try the corn maze again- we're determined to finish! 

He also wants to dress up as a scarecrow and walk around in there and mess with people, haha. 

We look like red heads in this photo- I had to mess with the image because we both looked too white from the flash! 

Falling

Since I have a loooooong time spanning in front of me until Russ gets home, I'm going to try and keep busy like I did last time he was away. 

I like keeping busy because 1) it makes time go faster and 2) it gives me something interesting to write to Russ about while he's gone. I'm sure it's better than:

Dear Russ, 

Today I worked. That's it. Life is boring without you. 

Love, Ashley 

So, I'll keep you updated on my progress with this list. I think one of my favorite Fall things is going to be Zombie Paintball Hayride. It's a hayride on a farm in Snohomish that takes you around a zombie infested farm and you get to shoot "live" zombies with paintball guns. It's going to be amazing... though, wouldn't that job kinda suck? 

What's Up?

I was sad to see that I've only posted three times during September! What happened?! 

Well, life gets in the way and work and our business have been keeping me very busy.

1.) The truck we looked at has been sold. We waited too long and didn't pounce so... it's gone.  While I'm disappointed, I kinda feel like if it's something we really wanted we wouldn't have waited.

2.) Russ has left and he'll be gone until the holidays. :( I'm trying to not feel depressed but I'm going to give myself a few days to be in a funk and then hopefully I'll get busy and time will go quickly. 

3.) We've started on some pictures for our website! We've been baking like fiends and trying to make the products look perfect so my brother can capture their delicious-awesomeness on camera. It's going pretty well with the exception that we have a CRAP TON of sweets around the house and seeing them frankly makes me feel ill. 

These are some fabric samples from the shots, cute huh? 

I can't wait to share some beautiful shots of our treats, they're turning out so well! I hope to get the website up and running by October so we can hopefully get a few orders going throughout the holidays before we obtain a truck. 

A Work In Progress

I can pinpoint the exact moment that began my struggle with a crippling lack of self-esteem that has followed me through life like a shadow.

“Do you know what Billy said about you?” 

“No, what?”

“He said that you’re cool but you’re fat.”

You’re fat. 

It was the moment of realization that this was what others saw when they looked at me. When you’re a little kid, you don’t have time to think about stuff like that. Before that day in fourth grade, I just thought fat was something that Disney villains were, like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. My view of myself didn’t extend beyond what I was wearing and what my hair looked like. I hadn’t progressed into further physical self-analysis beyond that. 

There were things that I knew I was: artistic, that I loved to write, I loved to sing, loved making up stories with my brother. But, fat was not a part of the equation. 

My reaction to hearing what Billy supposedly said about me? I strode up to him in the middle of our busy map-making classroom activity, grabbed him by his shirt collar, glared in his face while saying, “I’ll see you on the playground.” 

An empty threat but, he stayed away from me after that. Because of his short-sighted opinion of me, he lost a friend. And sadly, before that we had been pretty good chums. 

I wish I could say that was my first and last brush with the “f” word. But, if it was this would be a rather short piece.

Throughout my childhood, from that point on, my life was lived in between fat insults. And, I pretty much remember every one. I remember the sting of their words and it’s upsetting to know that I’m the only one that will remember it. The only person that their words made a mark on was me. And I can trace and see each one like scarred flesh. 

Fat. Elephant. Water Buffalo. Pregnant. Lard Ass. Fat Ass. Mooooo. 

Moo. I remember that one almost fondly. 

One of my favorite classes in middle school was Language Arts and Reading and one day I was doing a presentation on a board game I created for our class assignment. Mine was the prettiest one in the classroom and I was quite fond of my witty little game. As I explained the rules and held it up for the class to see, a “Moo” irrupted from the second row. 

It came from Melissa. Melissa with cute freckles, a carefree attitude the boys enjoyed, and who was also a cheerleader. 

I don’t even remember if the teacher heard or made her stop because I was so horrified by being called out for being fat in front of the class (as if they wouldn’t have noticed without her astute observation). I was especially embarrassed because the boy whom I had a huge crush on had obviously heard the crude commentary on my physical condition. 

I remember I cried to my mom about it later and received some good advice about how to deal with my Melissa problem. 

The next day in the hallway between classes Melissa was shoved violently into a locker and left to pick up her scattered books and papers on the tiled floor while I snidely smiled and said, “Oops, I’m so sorry.” Yeah, not the best way to deal with it but sometimes you have to fight fire with a blowtorch. She must’ve been burned badly because she never said anything to me after that. 

These comments from strangers on how my body should look helped shape my ill opinion of myself. From the first instance it was no longer just Billy or Melissa picking apart my body, my biggest critic became myself. And self-hatred has never gotten me anywhere. I’ve even made my own comments on how other people should look, “Oh, she shouldn’t be wearing that!” “I would never go out like that!” I’ve tried to stop myself from perpetuating the body-hate but it’s something I’m still working on. 

I read a quote about a year ago that I think about every now and then, “Hating my body has gotten me here, so let’s see where loving my body can get me.” I think that quote is very poignant and very true. I’d like to say that since reading it my life has changed and my ill opinion of my body has magically vanished, but I can’t. It’s still a struggle, especially having gained back nearly the 35 lbs I lost before our move to Washington. I still think in terms of what events I have to look forward to and how much weight I could possibly lose before then.  

And when I think back to all the rotten things people have said to me over the years, my feminist-with-attitude side comes out and rudely snaps back, “How dare you tell me what my body should look like?!” But, isn’t that true? Why is it anyone’s business what my body looks like? It’s mine and I think that my opinion on it should be the one that ultimately matters the most. From fat women to female body builders women’s bodies are critiqued. “Too much muscle!” “Too much fat!” Either way it’s other people telling you how your body should look, feel, and be. 

There is no real end to this piece- there’s no advice I can give to others who are struggling with body or self-acceptance. I'm lucky I have a man who loves me no matter what I look like but it's also difficult for him to understand why his unconditional and loving opinion can't make me like my body. I know it needs to come from within and it sucks that I've spent over fifteen years of my life hating it. I’m in no place to offer any advice but I just felt the need to get these words out of me and into the world.  

Source

Still working on it. 

Outsider

Lately I've been trying to find myself a little part-time job to make a little money and occupy my time while Russ is away. My only choices are retail and food service which is extremely unexciting and daunting. So, when I got a call on Monday from a grocery store/department store (like a Walmart competitor) about a bakery clerk job I applied for, I was ecstatic. After going to the interview today I learned that the bakery clerk position I had wanted had been filled already. So, they saw my extensive cashier experience and pounced. I passed the first interview and have a second one for a part-time cashier position tomorrow. 

I really, really don't want to get back into cashiering. I absolutely hated working at Walmart and the possibility of having that experience again makes me have painful flashbacks like some sort of war veteran. 

What struck me today, and what is the subject of this post, is how eager the hiring manager was to stress the fact that they wanted outgoing, friendly, smiley people to work their registers. In essence, introverts need not apply. 

Outgoing and smiley are two things I am definitely not. 

Source

It seems to me that introversion is something that's extremely undervalued in our culture. The introspection, quiet, and thoughtfulness that goes with being an introvert is thrown aside in favor of outgoing, lively, and sociable. 

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Now, I understand that from a business aspect you'd require employees who are engaging and lively. But, there's nothing wrong with my way of relating to people too. I just find small talk extremely pointless and I'm not going to stand around smiling for no reason. I am polite, straightforward, and friendly. That's my way of relating to the world and the people in it and I fail to see how that's the [wrong] way, even though it is in the eyes of society. 

Source

Being an introvert in a society where only extraversion is accepted can be tough. 

Not A Normal Job

Being a Navy wife so far has been an interesting journey. It's definitely something I never thought I'd be doing or involved in and I still don't even feel like I really fit into the stereotypical 'Navy Wife' mold that I've seen from a lot of women around me. From the looks of various blogs, forums, and other social media it seems like a lot of women use the term Navy Wife as their only identifier besides "Mommy." They live, breathe, and bleed the military. 

Chicago during Boot Camp Graduation weekend.

That seems so foreign to me because we've never lived on base, only been to a handful of military family events, and try to treat the Navy as Russ' job rather than lifestyle as much as we possibly can. 

But, it's not a normal job.  

Since becoming a Navy wife I've had to do and learn a lot of things. I've had to become a Swiss Army Wife. I've had to learn how to cut his hair to save money (because it would cost us normally around $20 a month for every two weeks), learn how to sew and properly place uniform insignia, and to become flexible and patient with the ins and outs of the way the military runs. 

Paper work takes forever, some rules are ridiculous, not all sailors are nice, and "hurry up and wait." I've paid more attention to foreign affairs knowing that what goes on internationally can directly affect our family. (And I'm watching you, North Korea.) We've had to rearrange and cancel plans many times and live our lives around his crazy, ever changing schedule which is even worse now that he's on a ship. I've sacrificed starting my career because of our circumstances. I've celebrated his victories like ribbons, pins, and rank promotions right alongside him as if they were my own victories. 

And, it's only going to get harder from here on out. Sea Duty means he actually has to be out on the sea so... he's going to miss a lot this year. I can deal with all the other stuff that goes along with the military but this distance is going to suck. We're going to have sporadic contact for most of the year. Yeah, there's email but as I noticed with this past week he was underway- that's iffy. Sometimes messages don't get delivered and that makes the distance feel even further. 

Statues in Virginia Beach dedicated to "those who wait" for their sailor's return.

I've also noticed that in the total of around two weeks that he's been gone this year, it has made me appreciate the time we spend together even more. Now that his next underway is knocking at our door only a mere week after he got back from his last one, I can't not think about him being gone. Every laugh, joke, or smile makes me realize that he'll be gone for the next one. We won't have our little chats in the car or snuggles on the couch while watching TV. 

When we got married and I knew that in a two to three years he'd be off Shore Duty and onto Sea Duty that time felt so far away. We're fortunate that he had Shore Duty first and that we got to spend that newlywed time together but it was over too soon. 

While he's gone I'll just have to stay busy and try not to stall my own life just because he's not here. Which... I know I'll try to do because I'll irrationally think, "If he's not here, I can't possibly [watch this show, visit this place, try this restaurant]!" It's definitely going to be a battle. 

Awesome Things Of The Week

Here's some awesomeness that happened this week:

1.) Russ came home from eight days of being underway.

Ships from the base parking lot. 

Waiting for Russ while enjoying the view of the Sound. 

2.) I finally cut my hair after nearly two years of growing it and I donated it. I'm loving not having a hair curtain anymore that is hard to care for, hard to style, and serves as a bib whenever I'm eating!

3.) My most incredible thrift store find yet... It was marked $9.99, which was still a deal, but it was 50% off day on select items. My lucky day! Remarkably, it looks brand new with not even a mark on it (which is strange because the jacket is so lightly colored). Love it! 

Yay for new hair and a new jacket!

Happy weekend, everyone!

Picturesque Day in Gas Works Park

In my quest to see as many Seattle sites as possible, I visited Gas Works Park on a glorious, sunny, and beautiful Friday. There were families flying kites, tourists taking pictures, people exercising and running, people lounging and eating lunch, people playing frisbee, couples walking their dogs, and kids picking cute little white flowers that were blooming in the grass. It was a very picturesque day. 

So, if you've never heard of Gas Works Park it is a public park that sits next to Lake Union that opened in 1975 on the site of the former Seattle Gas Light Company gasification plant. The former boiler house was been converted to a picnic shelter with tables, fire grills and an open area. The former exhauster-compressor building, now a children's play barn, features a maze of brightly painted machinery. 

And, it's pretty awesome and I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. 

We also took a little side trip over to see the iconic Fremont troll that lives under the bridge. It was actually bigger than I expected it to be. In his left hand, he's clutching an old  Volkswagen Beetle. 

Seriously!