Home Again

Aww, my poor little defunct blog! Will I ever come back on a scheduled basis? I don't know. But, what I do know is I'm not going to pop in here and apologize for being gone because, let's face it, I'm sure your world has kept spinning without my goofy little corner of the internet being updated constantly and I'm sure you're fine. 

Deployment is now officially over. In two days Russ will have been home for three weeks and time has absolutely flown since he's been home! There's been the homecoming, the family day cruise, the ship's decommissioning ceremony, and the holiday party (yes, we already had our holiday party last week...). Combine that with having to juggle one car, the truck activities, and doctor (for both of us) and vet appointments and we've been very busy since he's been home! 

So his ship was scheduled to come home on October 27th but due to a really bad storm in the Pacific, it was pushed back twice. I know I should have expected something like that to happen because when it comes to the military, you never know what's going on. But, those two times that his homecoming was pushed back felt so grueling. I can't imagine what the sailors felt hearing that homecoming was being prolonged. 

They officially came home October 30th at around 8 a.m. It was a cold, cloudy and windy morning (though, I think it's always windy standing out on the pier). There were families, friends out on the pier, braving the cold to finally claim their sailors. Camera crews were stationed on the pier as well, anxious to get the misty-eyed embraces on camera for the evening news. 

After a while he was finally able to disembark and head home with us! 

He nearly crushed me here, I think I felt my ribs crack! 

I am so grateful for many things: that Russ has returned to me safely, that Mom and my brother were here to keep me company and help me, and that we're staying in Washington even though his ship is decommissioning and we could have been sent anywhere- San Diego, Virginia, Japan. It really is lucky that we are staying.

I really didn't realize how really miserable I was while he was gone. Mom and my brother were a great comfort to me but I still felt a hole inside that they couldn't fill. Until these last few weeks I didn't even realize how much was missing. I was just used to feeling the emptiness, I guess. There's a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, that's for sure. 

Deployment Update: Six Months In

Before your significant other deploys "they" (meaning everyone from well-meaning friends to some nameless person on the internet) will tell you, "make sure you stay busy, it'll make the time go by faster!" Well, Russ has been gone for six months now and I have stayed really busy the entire time and I can say that that advice doesn't really work. I have killed myself trying to start this business and been extremely busy running it and the days seem to go fast. But, when I look back at the length of time that has transpired it doesn't feel any shorter just because I've been busy.

Source

I track the time by things Russ has missed. "Russ has been gone since before we went to see Paul Stanley in Portland in May." "Russ has been gone since our anniversary in June." "Russ has been gone since we got the truck graphics finished in July." Those events feel like a million years ago to me and he's been gone the whole time. 

There's going to be inside jokes he won't get and will feel left out. He's going to feel like the world has kept turning without him; movies have been released, video games have come out, new restaurants have opened, buildings have been built, and concerts have came and went while he's been out there in the ocean drifting. He hasn't driven for six months, pop culture has moved on, and news has happened. 

I can't imagine having that feeling- like being an alien in your own home. 

I've grown and changed, he's grown and changed and we'll come back together and we'll both be a little different. We've both had experiences apart but I really look forward to getting to talk about them and share them with each other. 

We've still got a little way to go but this deployment is now about 85% over, finally. We've gotten to the point where I can no longer send him care packages because they won't be in port much to even receive mail so that means time is counting down! 

Care Package #4

The theme for this care package was the 4th of July and 'MURICA! So, I got some scrapbook paper and stickers at Michael's and just did some goofy little decorations.

What's in the box?

-Geek magazine (I thought he'd enjoy it, don't know if he's read it before)

-Work and Civilian socks per request

-Welch's gummies

-Junior Mints

-Gummy worms, gummy lifesavers

-Easy Mac, Chef Boyardee 

-Arnold Palmer water flavoring 

-Nutrigrain bars

-Pistachios 

-Pretzels

-Q-tips

-White Chocolate and Macadamia Nut Cliff bars (the best kind!)

He won't get this before the 4th but I think it'll give him a little chuckle.

Deployment Thoughts: Nearly Halfway

We are already almost halfway through our first deployment so I thought I'd just take some time and complain just talk about some of the things I've experienced as a Navy wife during this deployment. 

-Anything that can break, will. 

So far on this deployment the shower drain has clogged, the oven heating element has broken and nearly caught fire, the oven handle has fallen completely off, the front tires on the car needed replacing, the rear turn signal bulb burnt out, the XBOX wireless adapter has quit working, the cable box downstairs is unresponsive, the kitchen faucet is now loose, the food truck's seat belt doesn't unwind, the glove box door is broken, and the handle for putting the window down needs replacing. 

-Bad things happen and you have to be prepared to deal with them without your significant other's support. 

Last underway my friend passed and my grandfather passed. That was pretty difficult. On top of everything I couldn't even have Russ there with me, giving me support. I also couldn't even communicate with him regularly either which left me upset.

-Care packages can be expensive to send (but fun also) and frustrating when it takes nearly a month to receive them. 

I bet I spend at least $75 on care package supplies and another $15 in shipping fees. 

-You will stay up waaaaaay later than usual watching Netflix. 

I don't remember a time when I went to bed before 1 am. I consider that turning in early. 

Ian has turned in before I have, as usual. 

-You will tear up at random moments when you think of your significant other.

Sometimes when I'm driving, or writing him an email, looking at the night sky, or I see a rainbow... you know, whenever. 

-You will keep their body wash in the shower just so you can smell it sometimes to make you feel like they're still there. 

T-shirts lose their scent too quickly. It's the only thing I have left now. 

-Communication is key... but frustrating, repetitive, and sometimes not too exciting. 

I love writing Russ emails. I usually write him a long email every night before I turn in at 3 am. Somedays they don't go through, somedays I don't hear from him. And sometimes there's not a whole lot going on in my day. Some days just aren't that exciting, you know? And I know he doesn't get sick of hearing, "I love and miss you and am so proud of you! I can't wait until you're home!" but sometimes as I'm writing it I think, does this sound repetitive? I completely feel those things but written out rather than said just doesn't feel the same. It's hard to convey all the things you're feeling but it's good to try.

I love the few times we can talk on the phone (it's only been three times since March) but when I ask him how he's doing, he says "work and sleep." Which is accurate... and then the conversation gets quiet. So yeah, it's hard to talk about things when they're gone because our worlds are so different right now. I try to make sure he's informed on everything, however minute, to give him something else to think about. 

Another fun thing I like to do are fill out old goofy surveys and send them to him and have him write back his answers. Sometimes it's pretty funny and you can even learn a few things about your spouse that you may not have known before! 

-You can save a ton of money... if you aren't starting a business.

That's where our savings is going right now, sorry honey. :-/

Care Package #3

Since I was too dim to realize that the last package I sent should have been his birthday box, I made this one as his birthday box instead. 

I just used scrapbook paper glued to the flaps and some other scrapbooking supplies to decorate. I used a silver Sharpie to draw the stars and other little personal messages. I taped down the 'happy birthday' letter stickers because they could easily fall off if the package is handled so badly as they usually are. I put an envelope on the side so I could place a few pictures and a little handwritten letter inside. 

Inside the box:

-Nestle water flavoring- iced tea
-Little Bites Blueberry Muffins
-Snyder's Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzels
-Chocolate granola bars
-Microwavable tortilla stuffers with tortillas
-Honey Bunches of Oats Granola 
-Pudding Snack Pack
-Milano Cookies
-Extra gum
-Different types of gummies
-Nutella dipping snacks 
-Cliff bars (white chocolate macadamia nut- the best kind)
-New boot socks
-Some fake mustaches
-Silly Putty

But his big birthday/deployment's over surprise is this: The XBOX One. I've been saving for it a little at a time since he left and I'm about 1/4 of the way saved for it (about $10 every week or so).

Source

Today is his birthday: Happy Birthday Russ! :D

Care Package #2

I sent out Russ' care package on March 31st and he received it April 23rd! I didn't expect it to take that long. I mean, I get it because they're not always in port and can't receive mail but jeez. 

The cute little box I sent out was not received that way. He said it was heavily damaged and looked as if it had been delivered by Ace Ventura:

The box was "frankenstein-ed" back together, as he put it, and his poor little oatmeal cream pies were as thick as a sheet of paper. :( I'm sure he'll still eat them but that's just sad! 

On Friday I mailed out his next package, which... should have been his "birthday" care package but I wasn't thinking about it being time for that until May. With the time frame on receiving his packages, it will be his birthday by the time he gets this next one. Oh well, I will make him a birthday themed box next time which I plan to send in two weeks. 

Care packages are expensive though! I had no idea it was going to cost this much. A flat rate box will cost about $15 on its own for military, but double that for our adopted sailor and it's $30 each time. Not to mention the contents... I probably spend about $100 in supplies. I never imagined!

Anyway, Russ' theme for Care Package #2 was Mystery Science Theater 3000. We both love that show and I thought it would make an adorable theme without being cheesy.

The only thing I printed out was the logo of the show- other than that I painted it to look like space and painted out their little space ship, the satellite of love. I put an envelope for a letter and a couple pictures that I printed out. 

What did I pack this time:

-Werther's Original

-King Size Paydays

-Sour Punch Straws

-Oreos

-Airbourne

-Fruit Smiles Gummies

-New Headphones

-Heat & Eat Pasta

-Mentos

-Ramen Cups

-Honey Mustard & Onion pretzels

-Cliff Bars

-Chicken Noodle soup (in a heatable container)

-Chapstick 

And I think a few other things that I can't remember? I gotta start making these lists before I send them! haha

Hopefully this box will have safer travels than the last! I doubt it.

Counting the Days

With Russ gone, I've been trying to stay busy. That's harder now that I don't have a job and am trying to focus entirely on the business (which has been sloooooow moving since it's so hard for companies to return calls... but anyways). 

I decided before Russ left that it would be cool for him to see a snippet of everyday that he's been missing. I know it doesn't even begin to make up for the time he's lost at home but I thought it would be better than nothing. So, everyday I've been making a point to take a picture of something. It could be what I'm working on, what's happening, something cute, or just a snapshot of the day. 

So here it is:

1.) Russ' ship leaves on deployment day.

2.) I spend my time drawing schematics of the food truck.

3.) I spend part of the day sweeping and wiping down the food truck (it was quite dirty).

4.) I went to my first movie alone to see Veronica Mars (and it was AWESOME).

5.) I went to SeaTac to pick up Mom from the airport.

6.) Zelda and I take a self-portrait.

7.) I tried out a new chocolate chip cookie recipe and it is amazing and I've discovered our go-to bakery basic chocolate chip recipe. 

8.) I checked the mail and got our official Bake My Day LLC name registry from the state of Washington.

9.) Spring is coming but Winter is trying to hold on during its last day.

10.) It's the official first day of Spring and our little flowers are making an appearance.

11.) Mom and I have breakfast at a local cafe that's WWII & Navy-themed.

12.) Mom and I spend time reorganizing the garage and collect things for a garage sale.

13.) The three of us go to Ikea (on a weekend, we ARE crazy!).

14.) Double rainbow!

15.) Beautiful day for the first lawn-cutting of the year!

16.) My Ikea shelves are put together and lookin' fine.

17.) Mom and I begin to put together care packages for Russ and the sailor onboard that we "adopted."

18.) Gizmo lounges as he's prone to do.

19.) Brayt and I visit the Fremont Vintage Mall and it's awesome!

20.) Rainy Seattle.

21.) Ian squints at me lovingly.

22.) April Fool's Day special on National Geographic! 

23.) Our cherry blossoms are blooming in the yard.

24.) A self-portrait to start the day. (I still feel weird taking these...)

I hope Russ enjoys seeing a slice of life while he's gone. I'm contemplating putting these together in a book to print out for us to keep when he gets home. This is an interesting time in our lives that is worth documenting, I think. 

March On

Well, it's March here in the Pacific Northwest and things are starting to get sunnier and warmer. It's going to be time to break out the lawn mower soon because all the rain from the past few months has begun to really make the grass grow!

I've only got a few things on my to-do list for Spring because I'll be so busy with truck preparation and running the business so I'll keep it short to:

-Clean out the garage 
-Have a garage sale/donate what we don't sell
-Plant new flowers in our pots (which is all I'm spending on flowers this year, not worth it)
-Keep grass cut
-Maybe buy and spread more mulch around if needed
-Clean off front porch and walkway
-Buy a new doormat for the front door 

That's it. We're going to be so busy with the business and making it successful that I'm not going to have the time or energy to devote much to making the outside of this rental look beautiful. It'll have to just look decent this year.  

And also, with Spring comes... Russ' deployment which happened yesterday. I got home from seeing his ship leave, got in my pjs and uploaded the pictures to Facebook so his family could see the departure. It wasn't until then, after a full morning month of holding back tears that I allowed myself to fully cry. 

There are moments in your life that you'll never forget what you've seen and how you felt and I believe that yesterday was one of those moments. I watched as other spouses said goodbye to each other with hugs, kisses and hand holding. I watched children hugging their fathers tightly while clutching a sailor teddy bear in their arms. I saw fathers cradling their babies knowing that the next time they see them will be seven months from now when they've already grown up so much and they will have to witness those moments only through photos or videos.

I watched Russ' ship being pulled further and further out by the tug boat to the chorus of seagulls and seals. The chilly sea breeze whipped my hair into tangles and made my hands numb with cold while in my pockets. 

I don't remember anyone really speaking. There were just silent waves, kisses blown or the sporadic cry from a small child. The families slowly left until I was the last one standing on the pier just barely able to see the white sailor hats lined up around the ship as they manned the rails for departure. 

It was a tough day. I can only look at it as Day One and we'll get to the end of seven months eventually. It may feel like forever now but he will be home. 

Not A Normal Job

Being a Navy wife so far has been an interesting journey. It's definitely something I never thought I'd be doing or involved in and I still don't even feel like I really fit into the stereotypical 'Navy Wife' mold that I've seen from a lot of women around me. From the looks of various blogs, forums, and other social media it seems like a lot of women use the term Navy Wife as their only identifier besides "Mommy." They live, breathe, and bleed the military. 

Chicago during Boot Camp Graduation weekend.

That seems so foreign to me because we've never lived on base, only been to a handful of military family events, and try to treat the Navy as Russ' job rather than lifestyle as much as we possibly can. 

But, it's not a normal job.  

Since becoming a Navy wife I've had to do and learn a lot of things. I've had to become a Swiss Army Wife. I've had to learn how to cut his hair to save money (because it would cost us normally around $20 a month for every two weeks), learn how to sew and properly place uniform insignia, and to become flexible and patient with the ins and outs of the way the military runs. 

Paper work takes forever, some rules are ridiculous, not all sailors are nice, and "hurry up and wait." I've paid more attention to foreign affairs knowing that what goes on internationally can directly affect our family. (And I'm watching you, North Korea.) We've had to rearrange and cancel plans many times and live our lives around his crazy, ever changing schedule which is even worse now that he's on a ship. I've sacrificed starting my career because of our circumstances. I've celebrated his victories like ribbons, pins, and rank promotions right alongside him as if they were my own victories. 

And, it's only going to get harder from here on out. Sea Duty means he actually has to be out on the sea so... he's going to miss a lot this year. I can deal with all the other stuff that goes along with the military but this distance is going to suck. We're going to have sporadic contact for most of the year. Yeah, there's email but as I noticed with this past week he was underway- that's iffy. Sometimes messages don't get delivered and that makes the distance feel even further. 

Statues in Virginia Beach dedicated to "those who wait" for their sailor's return.

I've also noticed that in the total of around two weeks that he's been gone this year, it has made me appreciate the time we spend together even more. Now that his next underway is knocking at our door only a mere week after he got back from his last one, I can't not think about him being gone. Every laugh, joke, or smile makes me realize that he'll be gone for the next one. We won't have our little chats in the car or snuggles on the couch while watching TV. 

When we got married and I knew that in a two to three years he'd be off Shore Duty and onto Sea Duty that time felt so far away. We're fortunate that he had Shore Duty first and that we got to spend that newlywed time together but it was over too soon. 

While he's gone I'll just have to stay busy and try not to stall my own life just because he's not here. Which... I know I'll try to do because I'll irrationally think, "If he's not here, I can't possibly [watch this show, visit this place, try this restaurant]!" It's definitely going to be a battle.